Michael Irvin Converts Weightlifting Sessions into Rowdy Religious Rallies

DALLAS—NFL Hall of Famer Michael Irvin has taken his workouts to a divine level, transforming weightlifting sessions into raucous religious ceremonies by blasting thunderous Christian sermons. 

"When I'm pumping iron and the preacher's booming, it's like I'm doing bench presses straight to heaven," Irvin exclaimed, adjusting his headphones adorned with glowing crosses. 

Sources close to Irvin revealed his gym routine includes fervent prayers between sets and baptisms using protein shakes for hydration. "I call it my 'Muscle Mass Confessional,” Irvin joked, flexing his biceps as though casting out demons. 

Despite the bewildered stares from fellow gym-goers, Irvin remains unwavering in his belief that every deadlift is a testament to his faith and commitment to physical salvation. 

At press time, Irvin was spotted doing squats while quoting scripture, ensuring his workouts not only strengthen his body but also his spiritual resolve.